Recent news headlines included an unsettling story about a man who passed a nine-foot tape worm and claimed it came from seafood he’d consumed at a local restaurant. Newscasters joked that the tape worm looked, well, exactly like nine feet of tape, or a nine-foot tape measure, and it had a face like a drill bit. And now the man is suing the restaurant!

I write this not to scare you off seafood for lunch, because seafood is still delicious and generally pretty healthy. No, friends, this is just an important reminder that food safety isn’t a guarantee, no matter where you are. In general, we all assume that food is safe in this country, and that’s because it is. But nothing is absolute.

Take parasites, like our friend the nine-foot tapeworm (let’s call him Duke). If evolution means anything anymore, parasites are winning the race. They outnumber every other creature on the planet, which means they’re pretty good at what they do. Cockroaches probably fear parasites. Another interesting fact, at nine-feet tall our Duke is the Michael Jordan of the parasite world. Imagine Duke facing a whole basketball team of tiny heartworms; I actually worry about the safety of those little worms facing off against our Duke! (Next time you get caught calling someone insipid a “parasite” behind their backs, try using this one: “No, no, I meant parasite-good, not parasite-bad! Parasites are some of the most resilient and ingenious animals!”)

The good news is that man has evolved as well. We’ve developed a couple of ingenious inventions to help win the war against parasites and bacteria — pots, pans and refrigerators! Hooray for people! We may actually win this thing!

Controlling temperature is the most effective, and easy, way to stop pathogens and parasites, but I have to admit, I do feel a bit funny about advising people to cook their food, or keep food in a refrigerator. I hope everyone understands that these are good, healthy things. But then again, there is a lot of information about food safety to go over, and mistakes can be deadly. Can you name the correct cooking temperatures for meats off the top of your head? You can?! That’s great, I totally can’t! (You’re a very intelligent blog reader, do you know that?)

While it’s not exactly breaking news, perhaps it’s a good idea, in honor of Duke, to go over some common cooking and chilling guidelines to help ensure food safety. In fact, that’s the whole goal of the BacDown! campaign -- to simply remind people of the basics of refrigeration and cooking and point out some basic rules about appropriate temperatures for cooking and chilling.

You can get a lot of information on this at www.fightbac.org, which recommends refrigerator temperatures be set lower than 40 degrees but higher that 32, which can damage delicate foods. It also advises that all new or leftover foods be placed in the fridge within two hours, and always use the refrigerator to defrost or marinade foods and meats. Food stays safe in the freezer when it’s frozen in small containers, for quicker cooling, or chilled in an un-crowded refrigerator. To check on how long you can keep a food in the fridge, click here.

Of course, the Fightbac folks also offer a cooking chart, available here. This chart gives safe cooking temperatures for all kinds of meats—145 degrees for a perfect medium rare steak—egg dishes, fish, seafood and even casseroles. Poor Duke, he may never find another host!

Using the stove and refrigerator properly is important, lifesaving work when you consider that every year 5,000 people die of food-borne illnesses. Now go forth and cook and refrigerate food like a pro. (Wow, just think of how many children won’t be getting salmonella tonight as a result of this blog! I’m so good!)